I’m reminded of a story that Kevin Smith tells. He talks about a discussion he had with Ben Affleck and that Ben was telling him how much he enjoyed being in Chasing Amy. He enjoyed it so much that he keeps pressuring Kevin to write something else just like it. “Just write it and I’ll do it.” Then Kevin says, “Hey, Mother*%^&er, one of us won an Oscar for writing!”
That’s right, Ben Affleck is an Oscar award winner. Yes, the lead actor in such quality movies as Paycheck, Reindeer Games, Pearl Harbor, Gigli, Daredevil, Forces of Nature, Armageddon, and Phantoms won an Oscar. The shocker is that he didn’t win it for acting. This movie is proof that Ben Affleck should stay behind the camera. It’s so much better when he is creating the story rather than acting in it. If he continues to act he should at least get some tips from his brother Casey.
To me, this movie seems to be about good vs. evil. The struggle is to define who or what is good and who or what is evil. Is good following the letter of the law or is good breaking a few rules to better the situation. Is good getting what’s rightfully yours or is good getting what you deserve.
I am sorry for the extreme untimeliness of this review. I have been meaning to see this film ever since opening night, but have been thwarted multiple times. Anyway…
Here’s what I didn’t like about the movie:
It had completely ridiculous movie technology. There is a scene where Batman pulls a chunk out of a wall that has a bullet hole. He then scans it with some kind of computer modeling device using lasers. Then his computer is able to determine which parts of this 3d model are bullet fragments. The computer then is somehow able to reassemble the bullet virtually, complete with a fingerprint that would not only be underneath the shell casing but burned off by the bullet being fired. That is some AMAZING technology.
Another bit of incredible technology is that they are able to hack an ordinary cellphone to become a 3d modeler by using sonar. Right. Every phone has the speaker quality needed to transmit a inaudible sonar blib and a microphone good enough to pick up the inaudible sounds being bounced back with enough quality to build a 3d model. I hear the next big iPhone app is iSonar.
Christian Bale’s “Batman” voice. When he was Bruce Wayne, he sounded like the silky smooth, devonaire millionaire that he was. But as soon as he but on that Batsuit he immediately sounded like he was just force fed a cheese grater. Does the batsuit really have that much tracheal constriction? It was difficult to understand what he was saying in parts of the movie. Batman needs to add some Earl Grey to his utility belt.
On to the good.
The best thing about this film is that it has potential to knock Titanic out of it’s #1 spot as the highest domestic grossing film ever (James Cameron, if you are reading this, kindly kick yourself in the groin). I have been waiting for this for so long, I will be hoping against all hopes that it bitch-slaps Titanic down a peg.
I don’t want to sound like every other review and say that Heath Ledger is the greatest Joker of all time, blah, blah, blah. He was great and everyone knows it. Done. I want to talk about another great performance that was overshadowed by the whole “OMG Heath Ledger was great and now he’s dead” hype. I’m talking about Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Twoface. His performance took me by surprise. Added to this was the incredible special effects to create Twoface. It was reminiscent of the Mummy, only creepier. I couldn’t look away from his eyes, oh the eyes! They will haunt my dreams. Ok, not really, but they were haunting.
This was a great movie with a great cast and an amazing director. I highly recommend seeing it.
First of all, I want to say that I wasn’t planning on doing a review of this movie. Since the last movie I reviewed was Kung Fu Panda, I thought that reviewing two animated films in a row would make me a sissy.
Back to the film, I’ll get to the nut-job bs in a second. The basic premise of this movie is that in the not too distant future, we humans have trashed the planet beyond it’s ability to sustain life. So, everyone hops on a space cruise while trash compacting robots or WALL-Es clean the earth. The last remaining WALL-E inadvertently ends up on the ship and “fascist” “left wing” “propaganda” ensues. Just like most movies that Pixar creates, it was fresh, fun and very entertaining. They push the envelope with every movie they make. In this movie, you aren’t introduced to the first human character until the movie is about half over. Even then, they only credit 7 voice actors in the credits. A vast majority of the characters are robots. It’s a robot love story. Brilliant.
Ok, back to the no brain nutters who condemn this film. On a blog called “Liberal Fascism”, I kid you not, it is really called “Liberal Fascism”, this letter is posted, describing the movie’s “fascistic elements”. “You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.” I consulted my good friend Merriam Webster and he told me that fascism is a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control. The entire letter talks about how the characters fight the “system”. How the flying rat turds is that fascist? Socialist, maybe, (and that’s a stretch) but fascist? C’mon now. If any character in this film had fascist undertones it would be corporate/governmental character who gave the order specifically to prevent anyone returning to Earth. Or possibly the autopilot robot who followed this order. In any case the only possible fascistic characters were the antagonists. These cake eaters need to learn to open a dictionary.
So remember kids, when you think fascist dictators think: Benito Mussulini, Mao Zedong, Kim Jong Il, Saddam Hussein, and a little trash compacting robot named WALL-E.
In my extremely, ridiculously humble opinion, Scarface is one of the greatest movies of all time. That being said, I also think that it is one of the most misunderstood movies of all time.
I used to work retail. I used to work retail at a mall. Ugh. It wasn’t even a good mall. It’s the kind of mall that was good about 15 years ago, but now when you go there you wonder why they’re still open. Because of this, the mall would attract many wannabe gangsters. Every other person that walked into my store looked the same: pants so big that they’d have to walk around with one hand holding them up, ball cap with a perfectly flat bill worn crooked, cubic zirconium grill, using words like “aight” and reeking so bad of weed that I would routinely get headaches. An overwhelming majority of these jackasses wore a Scarface t-shirts.
What the hell? Why would anyone even remotely “gangsta” think that movie is cool? Ok, back up a moment. The movie starts well for Tony. He is ambitious, uncompromising, confident. He knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it. He gets respect from his fellow drug runners and he gets the girl. Great traits for a role model.
Then the second half of the movie happens.
Lets see, what happens in the third act again? Oh yeah, Tony abandons his mother, gets left by his wife, murders his best friend, causes his sister to be shot, gets pumped full of hot lead and dies in his fountain. I want to be just like him when I grow up. On a positive note, he was on enough cocaine to kill a small rhinoceros when he died.
Seriously, what are these no-brain wank-jobs thinking? This is the only scenario I can think of: The only version of this movie these gobshites have ever seen is a copy from their friend’s cousin’s roommate that they taped off of tv. But, unfortunately, the last half was taped over with an episode of American Idol. How else can Tony Montana look good to you?
I’m the greatest man that ever lived…sorry, I’m listening to the new Weezer album as I write this. So, Kung Fu Panda, where do I begin? Overall this was an enjoyable movie. I must say that I am a fan of the Jack Black. The opening scene was a dream that “Po”, the Panda, had about being a kung fu master. I would venture to guess that a majority of which was Mr. Black’s improvisation. “There’s no charge for awesomeness!” Pure gold.
I do have to say that it was interesting having “kung fu masters” voiced by the “pot-smoking”Seth Rogan (Mantis) and the “blue” David Cross (Crane). I don’t know that I would have cast them in these roles, but I think that they added a great deal to the movie. This movie was cast very well. Dustin Hoffman did a wonderful job as Master Shifu. Animated films always have great casts, usually due to the fact that they don’t have to get everyone in the same room at the same time.
The story has been done many times before; The unlikely hero has to overcome his self-doubt and gain enough skill in a short period of time to defeat the evil expert. (Right. How long does it take to become a kung fu master? Hours? Days?) It wasn’t very hard to predict what would happen next. That being said, I would have to say that Kung Fu Panda was pretty good. It was entertaining and a good way to spend an hour and a half.
I’ve been looking forward to this film ever since I heard that they were making another Indiana Jones movie. I was even more exited when I saw a photo from production that showed George Lucas wearing a “Han Shot First” t-shirt. I thought, “Hey, maybe ol’ Georgie finally realized that he’s been royally screwing up his movies lately.”
Sadly, I was wrong.
My first clue that something was wrong was the appearance of Neil Flynn as a federal agent (”Janitor” from scrubs, for those who don’t know). Don’t get me wrong, I love Neil. He just seemed out of place.
In another scene Indy and his friends are in pursuit of the Russians driving through the jungle. During which Cate Blanchett and Shia LeBouf get into a sword fight while standing on opposing moving vehicles. Granted, it’s a movie and they movies are allowed to stretch the laws of physics, but there’s no way in hell anyone could do that. A little later in the scene, Shia’s character gets caught up on some vines and pulled out of the car. Guess what happens next. Right, he goes Tarzan on those vines and somehow catches up with the speeding cars. This is when I started thinking this movie was supposed to be a comedy.
I can’t forget to talk about the ending. Do you remember watching the movie A.I.? Remember the end, where Haley Joel Osment is talking to the alien looking robot things, and you’re thinking “What in the holy hell is going on”? This movie had an ending like that. This movie took the Indiana Jones from the Adventure genre right into Sci Fi.
My final thoughts. George Lucas, if you’re reading this, for the love of all that is good and Holy, please stop making movies.
This is actually one of my favorite voicemails. It’s kind of sad that someone could be so mad at the world that they feel they have to take it out on a company voicemail system. This gentleman also left a message for our billing department where he called them “dumbo”. He’s a real class act.
This is also a classic case of “not leaving any identifiable information in the message so we can’t contact you” message. Have I told you how much I love these. I swear, my job would be so much easier if all of my voicemails were like this. I would set up my voicemail to delete messages as soon as they came in. It would be great.
After these two voicemails we never heard from him again. Which is awesome since he would be a headache of a customer.
At any rate, I hope this gentleman has sorted out is unhealthy hostility toward ISP’s and has found a healthy outlet for his anger, because yelling at a company before you become their customer accomplishes little.
This film is an examines the commercialization of Christmas by following Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping on a nationwide tour preaching the gospel of not shopping. The go into big box retailers, malls, even Disneyland and begin and begin to tell the shoppers that consumerism isn’t everything.
I found this film very interesting. A big reason that I wanted to see this film is the fact that I am anti-consumerism/anti-corporation myself. Reverend Billy’s approach to the whole situation was entertaining. It was funny to watch people reaction to him in his white suit being followed by a choir singing songs of popular hymns with new anti-shopping lyrics. At times it felt cartoonishly over the top. Because of this ridiculousness it seems that no one took them seriously, except security. They were kicked out of virtually every place they went.
One scene I found particularly poignant. Rev. Billy is on the main street of a small town and goes into a mom and pop clothing store to buy a sweater. He chats with the store owner for awhile. The store owner tells him that there are now 2 Walmarts within 20 miles from the store and that they are having a significant impact on his business. He said that the business has been in the family for over 100 years. He told his sons that they shouldn’t work there. There won’t be much of a business to run in the future.
I work for a small internet company that provides internet access as well as web hosting services. Part of my job is tech support.
I talk to some “interesting” people with “interesting” problems, and I’d like to share some of the actual voicemails that I have had to answer.
My first example is from a customer I’ll call “Gretchen”. When I first listened to this message, I thought there was something wrong with my phone or the voicemail system. When I finally talked to her, I realized that I was wrong. What you hear on this message is exactly what it was like talking to her live.
This message is also an example of one of my favorite kinds of voicemails, the “leave absolutely no information about yourself so it’s impossible to call you back” messages. I like these simply because most of the time I can simply delete them. If you don’t tell me who you are, I can’t call you back.
I’m reminded of a story that Kevin Smith tells. He talks about a discussion he had with Ben Affleck and that Ben was telling him how much he enjoyed being in Chasing Amy. He enjoyed it so much that he keeps pressuring Kevin to write something else just like it. “Just write it and I’ll do it.” Then Kevin says, “Hey, Mother*%^&er, one of us won an Oscar for writing!”
